While there’s no argument that everyone endures the pain of divorce in one way or another, many people may be surprised to hear that, according to research, men have a much more difficult time with a split than women. For any man anticipating a divorce, it might be worthwhile to become familiar with some of the adverse impacts of divorce on the gender in an attempt to address the issues before they become overwhelming.
Health Issues
Marriage is connected to a longer lifespan for both men and women. While both genders see a rise in deaths following divorce, the rate for men is 1,773 per 100,000, compared to 1,096 for women. Sociologists hypothesize that one reason may be that men have less practice, and therefore fewer skills, when it comes to taking care of themselves. Statistically speaking, men have a tougher time with anxiety, depression, and insomnia, and experience greater fluctuations in weight following divorce. Some surmise that women typically play a greater role in championing healthy living and communication during marriage, leaving men at a loss when they’re alone.
Identity Issues
Because men are often the ones who leave the marital home, they find themselves having to redefine their roles as father and man-of-the-house more challenging. Additionally, men are much less likely to sign up for new activities than are women, leaving them feeling isolated and struggling with who they are.
Loneliness Issues
With only about 20 percent of fathers being awarded custody following a divorce, men experience excruciating loneliness because they cannot be with their children on a daily basis. When the divorce is particularly bitter and there is little flexibility in a parenting plan, this problem becomes worse yet. Adding insult to injury, it is difficult for men to watch their ex-wives bring new men into the kids’ lives, taking up a role that they no longer fill in the ways they formerly did.
Money Issues
Both partners in a divorce have to learn to live with fewer resources. Research indicates that men—typically the higher earners- face higher levels of downward mobility, including unemployment, following divorce.
Mitigating the Issues
In order to lessen these and other harmful impacts of divorce, the first step is to get an effective divorce attorney working on your behalf to ensure the best possible terms of divorce are reached. Beyond that, men should consider the following tips:
- Make personal health a priority. That means getting proper nutrition and sleep, as well as social interaction.
- Focus on the positive things you bring to any situation, from your contributions as a dad, a friend, an employee, and beyond.
- Accept the time limits placed on visitation, and make the most of your time with the kids by planning meaningful and interactive activities. When you can’t be with the kids, connect through Zoom, text, or otherwise when possible. Above all, don’t put kids in the middle of conflicts between you and your ex.
- Create a realistic budget as you continue to pursue opportunities for professional growth and upward mobility.
Get it Right
At WiseLieberman, our Boca Raton divorce attorneys are focused on getting the right outcomes for you. Schedule a confidential consultation in our office today.
Resource:
researchgate.net/publication/226514240_The_Effects_of_Divorce_on_Men%27s_Employment_and_Social_Security_Histories
By WiseLieberman, PLLC | Posted on November 2, 2021
FAQs
Divorce affects every person differently, but there are some typical patterns in how men and women are affected by divorce. While women may face the burden of financial difficulties and managing childcare, men may feel lonely or unsupported, trying to cope with these feelings through unhealthy habits.
Which gender gets divorced more? ›
Rosenfeld from Stanford University discovered that women started almost 69% of all divorces among about 2,000 surveyed couples. However, in contrast, in unmarried relationships, there wasn't a significant difference in whether women or men chose to end the relationship.
Who suffers most in divorce financially? ›
Despite their best efforts to arrive at an equitable agreement, financial disparities between spouses after divorce are a reality for some couples. There is a good body of research on the subject that shows women bear the heaviest financial burden when a couple divorces.
Who is most affected by divorce? ›
As you might expect, research has found that kids struggle the most during the first year or two after the divorce. 2 Kids are likely to experience distress, anger, anxiety, and disbelief.
Who loses the most in a divorce? ›
Men Lose More Income After Divorce Than Women - Bloomberg.
Are men happier after they divorce? ›
Studies show that divorces are equally hard on men and significantly affect their overall health, happiness, and life. In fact, divorce has a more negative connotation for men than women. They suffer more in silence and are likely to develop feelings of resentment and hopelessness after divorce.
What is the #1 divorce cause? ›
Lack of Commitment Is the Most Common Reason for Divorce
In fact, 75% of individuals and couples cited lack of commitment as the reason for their divorce. This was the most common cause of a marriage ending, exceeding even infidelity.
Why is divorce so hard on men? ›
Studies indicate that men are typically much happier in his marriage than women. Women are more likely to initiate divorce proceedings, leaving men to feelings of abandonment, hopelessness, and loneliness. Mental, emotional, and physical deterioration often follow.
Who are more loyal in a relationship male or female? ›
It is not accurate or fair to make generalizations about the loyalty of men or women as a whole. Loyalty can vary greatly from person to person, regardless of their gender. Some men may be very loyal in relationships, while others may not be, and the same is true for women.
Who is better off after a divorce? ›
Economic quality of life
Ultimately, the overall economic quality of a man's life, based on earnings and amount spent on living expenses, increases after his divorce. He continues to earn more but bears fewer family expenses. The overall economic quality of a woman's life, post-divorce, decreases.
The research seems clear that even if marriage benefits both men and women, there is more of an upside for men. Men derive greater health benefits from marriage than women. Married fathers receive an earnings boost while mothers receive a penalty. Women are disproportionately likely to end marriages.
Who struggles more after divorce? ›
Statistics show that while women initiate divorce almost twice the rate that men do, women are also much more likely to greatly struggle financially after divorce.
What is the walkaway wife syndrome? ›
Walkaway wife syndrome is more than just a phase. It's a complete breakdown of a relationship. She may not have said anything about divorce yet, but your wife has already checked out.
How divorce changes a man? ›
Some may feel an immense sense of relief, while others undergo feelings of sadness, anger, or anxiety. Beyond these emotions, divorce can challenge a man's sense of self, disrupt daily routines, and bring about drastic alterations in his social life, financial standing, and legal obligations.
What age is most affected by divorce? ›
The school-aged years are probably the worst age for divorce for children; the potential for emotional trauma from divorce is highest at age 11. Children in this age group tend to be more self-centered, meaning the breakdown of the family unit can feel like a personal attack.
Why is divorce more difficult for men than women? ›
Men Have A Smaller Support Network
Women generally have an easier time reaching out to family members and friends when they're going through a difficult time. They may also be more likely to reach out to a professional like a therapist for support during the divorce.
Why is divorce worse for men? ›
Studies indicate that men are typically much happier in his marriage than women. Women are more likely to initiate divorce proceedings, leaving men to feelings of abandonment, hopelessness, and loneliness. Mental, emotional, and physical deterioration often follow.
Are men happier married or divorced? ›
It's true that marriage has no lasting happiness effect after a divorce, but after divorce, men's happiness simply returns to where it would have been had they never married in the first place; they are no worse off. This data is cross-sectional, but the GSS also has a small panel dataset.
How bad is divorce for men? ›
Divorce is akin to the death of a marriage, and it's natural for both parties to experience feelings of sadness, anger, fear, and shame. However, men often struggle to navigate the grieving process. Instead of addressing their emotions, many men isolate themselves and suppress their feelings.
