Weddings these days have fewer and fewer fashion rules than in decades past, which can be great, but also makes things a tad more complicated. Many of today's brides are passing on traditional gowns in favor of elegant pants or jumpsuits, the occasional groom skips the typical black tux for a pastel suit, and even bridesmaids are ditching the cookie-cutter dresses for something they can wear over and over again. This means guests *also* have just as much freedom with their styles.
But before you whip out any outfit and call it a day, there are a few things to remember while getting dressed in order to still be respectful of the ceremony and the people getting married. Some of the rules are pretty straightforward and easy to follow (e.g., what colors to avoid), while others require a little more outfit planning—like figuring out what the heck "beach-formal attire" means.
To make sure you really nail it on the big day (well, not *your* big day, but you know what I mean), we tapped Elaine Swann, lifestyle and etiquette expert and founder of The Swann School of Protocol, to give us the low-down on some spoken and unspoken fashion rules.
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Keep reading for her advice about about what not to wear to a wedding, plus some stylish ideas about what you should wear instead. After this, you'll be ready to handle any dress code request that's thrown your way. Promise.
1. Don't wear white.
…or off-white, or really, really pale blue. Swann says that lighter colors tend to photograph white, and knowing how your look will photograph is just a general thing to be aware of, BTW. Avoiding white should be a no-brainer, but it still bears saying—unless the bride has specifically requested that guests wear it.
Want to wear something close to white? Try a neutral!
alice + olivia Ashby Front Twist Hip Cutout Dress
alice + olivia Ashby Front Twist Hip Cutout Dress
2. Try to avoid wearing the bridal party's colors.
Swann recommends that you stay away from colors that match the wedding (unless otherwise stated) so you don't look like you're part of the bridal party. How can you determine this? "You can tell what the color scheme for the wedding is from the invitation or the wedding website, which gives an idea of what direction the couple might be going." If you're still unsure, you can always ask the bride or a bridesmaid!
Wearing something printed can help avoid matching the bridal party, since, traditionally, most bridesmaids wear solid colors. (...Though some brides are opting for patterned bridesmaid dresses so it really depends!)
House of Harlow 1960 X REVOLVE Eliana Dress
House of Harlow 1960 X REVOLVE Eliana Dress
3. Don't go *too* casual.
Even if the wedding has a more low-key dress code, I promise you: It is not that casual. Meaning no sweats, jeans, T-shirts—you get my point. "If you have to choose between being underdressed or overdressed, it's always better to be overdressed," Swann explains.
But she also insists that if you are truly baffled by the dress code and have no idea what to wear, you should absolutely reach out for help. "I encourage people to embrace that awkward moment and ask for an example from someone in the wedding party, whether it's the bride, the groom, or the bridal party."
If you are looking for something that skews more casual but is still fit for a wedding, go for any of the simple yet stylish outfits below which can easily be dressed up or down.
4. Don’t go too casual with pants.
So you wanna wear pants? Totally fine! Just make sure they're dressy enough for the nuptials. Start with tailored trousers and a polished blouse, or make things easy for yourself by grabbing a matching blazer. Pant suits are a great way to go, or you can coordinate the color of your pants with your top, like this monochrome moment.
Bardot Kiah Corset Top
Bardot Kiah Corset Top
5. Cover your shoulders when applicable.
Is the ceremony taking place in a church or in an institution with a more modest dress code? Swann says, above all, it's important to remember that weddings are a sacred occasion. Be respectful of where the vows are being exchanged, and you can always bring a shawl or sweater to cover yourself.
This simple ribbed cardi would do the trick.
6. Be aware of your neckline.
On that same note, I'm always here for a great cleave moment, but weddings are generally a bit more family-friendly, so it's probably best to save your J-Lo-level Versace dress for a different occasion.
"Not only will the couple be there, but there may be extended family members, including grandparents," Swann says. "You certainly don't have to wear something that is old fashioned—you can stay on trend—but remember that part of the wedding itself may be a very religious occasion as well, so there is some modesty that could be expected."
Not saying don't do a deep V, just don't be asking "how low can you go?" Here's a plunge that should still work.
House of Harlow 1960 x REVOLVE Aja Mini Dress
House of Harlow 1960 x REVOLVE Aja Mini Dress
7. Avoid going overboard.
Even if the wedding is a ~dress to impress~ event, the last thing you want to do is outdo the people getting married! Prints and fun colors are definitely okay, but make sure you're not taking over the spotlight.
"There's a difference between wearing a cocktail dress that's really cute for the club and wearing a cocktail dress that that's meant for a wedding," Swann explains. "The outfit you select should not draw too much attention away from the couple."
A cowl neck midi is a chic choice.
8. Rethink the sparkles.
Along those lines, sometimes not outshining the couple can mean skipping something super glitzy—unless it's specified, or if it's a black- or white-tie affair. Of course you wanna win best-dressed guest, but you don't want everyone's eyes to be on you...and off the bride.
Instead of over-the-top sequins, try other textures like ruffles, lace, or plissé for a look that stands out, but doesn't literally shine.
Good American Plissé Midi Dress
9. Don’t go against the dress code.
Yes, Swann confirmed that it’s *usually* better to overdress than underdress. But read the room: Don’t wear a tux or a ballgown to a backyard wedding—in that case, it’s better to keep it a little more low-key.
Swann also says the location has a lot to do with what you should wear. "For example, if it's a destination wedding, then you know that you'd be wearing resort-style attire. If it's going to take place at a high-end hotel, then that'll give you an idea of the theme."
The other indicator that helps determine your style is the time of day the ceremony is taking place. "Earlier in the day, you're going to find that the attire is going to be less formal, which means more bright colors and flowy fabrics. Later in the evening is when you'll get to that formal attire where you have black and gold hues, beads, and sparkles." Of course, this is all generally speaking, but these are good guidelines to follow.
If you've got a beach wedding you're attending this summer, here's a cute option!
10. Skip the rips and holes, even intentional ones.
It's usually wisest to save anything super distressed or with frayed edges for other occasions. But if you like the idea of showing a little unexpected skin, consider a stylish cutout. As Swann points out, you don't have to completely forgo trends, either.
This style is the perfect mix of trendy yet appropriate. Plus, the breezy linen material will keep you cool during an outdoor ceremony.
11. Be strategic about your choice of shoes.
Comfort is important, especially if you plan on turning up on the dance floor. But wearing flip flops to the ceremony? Probably not the move, maybe unless it's a casual, toes in the sand beach wedding. If you know there is going to be a long walk from one point to another throughout the festivities, Swann says comfy flat shoes (flip flops or otherwise) that you can slip in and out of quickly might be good to bring—but only for those in between moments!
Also, if the nuptials are happening on grass, Swann suggests wearing wedges or heels that have a thicker sole so you won't sink in the ground when you walk. "Get that information in advance, and don't feel as though you're bothering the couple or bothering the party by asking these sorts of questions—they want you to be comfortable," Swann says.
Consider any of the below shoes depending on the location and overall vibe.
to wear to a church ceremony
Larroude Gio Sandal In Silver
Lauren Adhav
Associate Fashion Editor
I'm Cosmopolitan's Associate Fashion Editor and write about any and all trends, major celeb fashion moments, and why wide-leg jeans are basically the best. I originally moved to New York City to audition for RENT, only to find out that the play closed 10 years ago.
FAQs
What You Should Never Wear to a Wedding—and Some Cute Looks to Try Instead? ›
Avoid sequined dresses and any clothing that will draw attention away from the bride. A wedding isn't the proper time to make a bold fashion statement. Ditch your everyday jeans and tee. Even if the wedding initiation says “casual”, wearing sneakers, t-shirts, shorts, and jeans are never appropriate for a wedding.
What is something you should never wear to a wedding? ›Avoid sequined dresses and any clothing that will draw attention away from the bride. A wedding isn't the proper time to make a bold fashion statement. Ditch your everyday jeans and tee. Even if the wedding initiation says “casual”, wearing sneakers, t-shirts, shorts, and jeans are never appropriate for a wedding.
What is an inappropriate dress for a wedding guest? ›Therefore, there is an expectation that the colors white, ivory or cream are reserved for the Bride." She added: "It is generally deemed inappropriate for guests to wear white to a wedding so [as] not to upstage the Bride and draw attention to yourself and away from the couple."
Is it okay to not wear a dress to a wedding? ›You can totally be following the wedding guest's formal dress attire, without having to wear a dress! If you don't like to wear dresses at weddings, and don't want to give them a try, it's okay. Stay true to what makes you feel comfortable, and dazzle everyone with stylish dress alternatives.
Why can you not wear black to a wedding? ›In the past, wearing black to a wedding was frowned upon, because black was a colour traditionally worn at funerals and when in mourning.
What is too casual to wear to a wedding? ›Avoid jeans, shorts, tank tops, and tennis shoes, unless the invitation specifically says otherwise. Sandals are tricky, as some might consider them too casual for an event like a wedding, while others say sandals are the obvious choice for casual beach nuptials.
What is inappropriate dress code? ›Clothing that expresses any racial, sexist, or discriminatory statements are never appropriate to wear to work. Uniforms if required for some positions. If your company is scent-free or scent sensitive, a Dress Code would be an appropriate place to put that in writing.
What do female guests wear to weddings? ›Women are expected to wear a full length gown that is formal and covers their ankles. A formal pantsuit can also be a great option.
Why can't you wear red to a wedding? ›Why was red traditionally inappropriate for wedding guest attire? “Tradition dictates guests avoid wearing red out of fear that it could take attention away from the happy couple,” explains Hurwitz. “Visually, it's quite bold.
What color is good luck to wear to a wedding? ›However, red and white are considered the best for weddings. Along with decorations, wedding Kimonos in Japan are often made of these two colors. The combination of white and red is supposed to bring good luck to the new couple.
Is it OK to wear pink to a wedding? ›
Is pink appropriate for a wedding?” There's no rule here, but it depends on the shade of pink. While dark pinks and light reds are appropriate, blush and other shades of light pink have a chance of looking too similar to the bridesmaids, or getting washed out and looking white in photos.
Is it OK to wear sparkly shoes to a wedding? ›For brides and wedding guests that ask “can I wear sparkly shoes to a wedding” wonder no more. Yes! Sparkling shoes often add interest, joy and energy to an ensemble, all of which are great attributes for weddings.
Can I wear a maxi dress to a wedding? ›Absolutely! Wearing a maxi dress to a wedding is a great choice year-round. Be comfortable and fashionable when you spare the gown and wear a maxi-length dress to a wedding. Also known as a tea-length or a full-length dress, a maxi dress is long with a hemline that typically rests at or just below your ankles.
Can you wear a short dress as a wedding guest? ›Is it inappropriate to wear a mini dress to a wedding? Definitely not! Mini dresses are appropriate for casual, cocktail, and semi-formal weddings. However, for a black tie, white tie, or formal dress code, skip the mini and instead opt for a floor-length gown.
Can you wear pearls to a wedding? ›Wedding guests can wear pearl jewelry as part of their outfits. If you're a wedding guest, you might be considering choosing pearl jewelry. It's best to choose more understated pieces, such as a simple pendant or stud earrings. As pearls represent eternal love, they're the perfect accessory for wedding days.
Can a woman wear a blazer to a wedding? ›Totally fine! Just make sure they're dressy enough for the nuptials. Start with tailored trousers and a polished blouse, or make things easy for yourself by grabbing a matching blazer.
Is wearing all black to a wedding OK? ›As a general rule, "wearing black is totally acceptable, as the hue is very versatile," Sabatino affirms. However, you should avoid wearing white unless you are told otherwise. That shade, she says, is reserved exclusively for the bride.
Is it rude to wear black to a wedding? ›To recap: as long as it's not considered culturally inappropriate or against the dress code, you can wear black to a wedding. Depending on where the couple is exchanging vows, which season their special day is taking place in, and what time of day everything begins, black may or may not be your best color option.
Can I have bare legs at a wedding? ›So, when going to a more formal event, consider skipping the hosiery so that you can show off your bare legs and pretty pedicures in sandals and peep-toe heels. What is this? It's perfectly fine to go bare-legged when it's too hot and stuffy for hosiery. You'll feel more comfortable and cool that way.
What is dressy casual for a woman? ›"This is where you're thinking more light colors and casual materials," she says, versus fancier fare like satin and sparkles. You can wear things that are a little more flowy, and even bold prints are acceptable. "That really cute sundress or maxi dress is a great example of dressy casual,” Swann says.
What is the best attire for a wedding? ›
Simply put, women should wear a formal, floor-length evening gown—no exceptions—with jewelry, heels, and an elegant clutch. Men are required to wear a tuxedo with tails, a formal white shirt, a vest, a bow tie, white or gray gloves, and formal footwear, such as derby shoes or oxfords.
What is the most dress code? ›Also known as “full evening dress”, white tie attire is considered the most formal of all dress codes.
What should you avoid in a dress code? ›- Don't Wear Dirty or Wrinkled Clothes to Work. ...
- Don't Wear Tight or Revealing Clothing to Work. ...
- Don't Wear Work Clothing That Is Too Casual. ...
- Don't Wear T-Shirts With Offensive Messages to Work. ...
- Don't Wear Club Clothes to Work.
Provocative or Improper attire means inappropriate and unsuitable office attire.
What is smart casual for a wedding? ›Masterclass defines Smart Casual as “a dress code that combines well-fitting, polished business wear with elements of casual attire.” This kind of wedding dress code usually revolves around skirts, dresses, or even slacks for women, whereas men might choose chinos, dark wash denim, or suit pants with a casual shirt.
What do you wear to a 5pm wedding? ›A morning wedding typically calls for casual dress, while a ceremony after 5 p.m. generally calls for formal attire.
Is a 4pm wedding formal? ›A daytime celebration (typically less formal) is held before 6 p.m., while an evening wedding (typically more formal) is held after 6 p.m. or begins a bit before and continues well into the night.
Does red mean you slept with the groom? ›According to Bustle, the only place where wearing red to a wedding indicates the guest has slept with the groom is in southern parts of the US.
Can a guest wear the same color as the mother of the bride? ›The wedding colours are for the wedding party, not guests
Unless you're in that bridal party, you'd be best to steer clear of trying to match them. Think of it a bit like a stage show. The actors, in this case the bridal party, all wear the same colour to identify themselves as being in the cast.
"According to the Emily Post Institute, it's acceptable to wear white, as long as it doesn't 'distract from the bride or her attendant's dresses.
What color symbolizes marriage? ›
The 'something blue' part of the wedding tradition stems from the belief that blue represented love, fidelity, and trust. Popular Wedding Colour Combinations: Navy + Cranberry, Pale Blue + Ivory, Light Blue + Yellow, Cerulean + Sage.
What colors should family wear to a wedding? ›A good option here would be to ask your family to dress in neutral colors. Tans, whites, blacks, greys. There are so many awesome options in this neutral colors! And they will all look nice and coordinated!
What does it mean to wear blue to a wedding? ›Traditionally the colour of good luck, blue signifies peace and purity. The bride who wears blue is just like calm water, life giving, and stable and endlessly loyal.
What colors not to wear to a wedding red? ›You should avoid white because that color is typically reserved for the bride.
Can I wear silver sequins to a wedding? ›Can I Wear a Sequin Dress to a Wedding? You most definitely can. As long as the dress code is cocktail or formal and the guests are expected to dress up.
Can you wear navy to a wedding? ›Navy is a classic neutral that you can rely on for all dress codes and types of wedding attire. This shade pairs particularly well with evening celebrations as well as black tie, formal and semi-formal nuptials.
Should you wear heels or flats to a wedding? ›If you're a tall bride and you don't want to be taller than your groom on your wedding day, you may want to choose to wear flats. Obviously, though, if you don't mind being taller than your future spouse or anyone else in your wedding party, go for it! Not everyone feels comfortable walking in heels.
Do you wear heels with a wedding dress? ›Let's get one thing straight: You definitely don't have to wear heels on your wedding day. The vast majority of wedding dresses are full length, meaning your feet will be completely covered except for when you are kicking up your heels (pun intended).
Is it appropriate to wear heels to a wedding? ›Know your tolerance when it comes to wearing heels or any other type of shoe that may cause discomfort. If you rock 4 inch heels regularly, great, go ahead and wear them to a wedding, but it's equally ok to wear low heels or even flats like, Badgley Mishka Slingbacks.
Can I wear floral dress to a wedding? ›Can I wear a floral pattern to a wedding? Yes! A floral print outfit is an appropriate and stylish choice for all seasons and types of weddings.
Can I wear sandals to a wedding? ›
Sandals are great for spring and summer weddings, especially if the ceremony and reception will be held outside. If you know you're going to a wedding where there will be plenty of dancing, avoid sky-high stilettos if you're not comfortable in them. Instead, opt for a cute, colorful sandal with a chunky heel.
Can I wear a dress above the knee to a formal wedding? ›Your dress should not fall above your knees. You can wear a strapless dress if appropriate, but make sure to bring a shawl or a cardigan — especially if you know the couple or wedding basis is religious.
Is it OK to wear a sparkly dress to a wedding? ›Too-sparkly metallics
Similar to wearing white, it will be seen as trying to steal the spotlight—not cool. However, if the wedding you're attending is formal or black-tie, sparkly gowns are usually okay—just don't go too overboard and wear something that could be construed as a wedding dress.
Anything too revealing.
Dresses and skirts should be around knee length and cleavage should be covered. Wedding guest dress etiquette is all about not upstaging the bride, something you risk if you turn up with a plunging neckline.
Full Length Gowns
Traditionally women are expected to wear a floor length evening dress to a formal wedding. Often a sophisticated and dressy cocktail dress is also appropriate, however if the bride is traditional we recommend a floor length dress. A full length dress means that the ankle is not visible.
Astrology says that the people whose zodiac signs lords are Mercury, Venus, Saturn and Rahu should never wear pearls. Pearls harm the natives of these zodiac signs. This means that people of Taurus, Gemini, Virgo, Capricorn and Aquarius ascendant should not wear pearls.
What jewelry is appropriate for a wedding? ›Wedding guests should avoid wearing diamond or clear-colored gemstone jewelry in honor of the bride on her special day (wedding or engagement rings are fine). Instead, go for colorful jewelry that complements the wedding colors and feels joyous and fun.
Can I wear hoop earrings to a wedding? ›Hoop Earrings for attending a wedding: Hoop earrings are a good option if you feel comfortable wearing them. They are a safe bet whether they are large or small. You can choose to wear gold or silver-plated hoop earrings or choose to wear ones with zircons or pearls.
Can you wear red to a wedding? ›This expansion of our understanding of what a wedding can look like has likewise expanded our choices in wedding guest attire. As a result, it is largely no longer considered a faux pas to wear red to most Western and secular weddings.
What are good things to wear at a wedding? ›Evening wear is most appropriate here. For men, this typically means a dark tuxedo, a white dress shirt, a coordinating bow tie, a cummerbund, and suspenders (optional), says Corry. Dress shoes, like oxfords, are suitable. Women can wear either a long gown or a dressy cocktail dress.
Can I wear pink to a wedding? ›
Is pink appropriate for a wedding?” There's no rule here, but it depends on the shade of pink. While dark pinks and light reds are appropriate, blush and other shades of light pink have a chance of looking too similar to the bridesmaids, or getting washed out and looking white in photos.
What should I wear to a wedding at 50? ›At some weddings, even a skirt and blouse or dressy evening pants worn with a dressy top are acceptable options. A dressy jumpsuit can be appropriate too. However, for most weddings, a dress is a perfect choice.
Can I wear a black top to a wedding? ›As a general rule, "wearing black is totally acceptable, as the hue is very versatile," Sabatino affirms. However, you should avoid wearing white unless you are told otherwise. That shade, she says, is reserved exclusively for the bride.
What should a female guest wear to a wedding? ›Semi-formal might be the most common wedding dress code. Think date night at the nicest restaurant in your town. Men should definitely wear slacks and a dress shirt but they can choose if they'd like to wear a tie and sport jacket or not. Women should wear a nice dress, skirt, or pants.
Can you wear a maxi dress to a wedding? ›Absolutely! Wearing a maxi dress to a wedding is a great choice year-round. Be comfortable and fashionable when you spare the gown and wear a maxi-length dress to a wedding. Also known as a tea-length or a full-length dress, a maxi dress is long with a hemline that typically rests at or just below your ankles.
What do you wear to a 4pm outdoor wedding? ›If the event is not for a beach wedding, but some hours after lunchtime, the typical dress-code of an afternoon wedding is semi-formal. Consequently, it calls for cocktail dresses, LBDs or modest party dresses. If the invitation asks for formal attire, go for a cocktail dress or a dressy LBD.
Do you have to wear a necklace to a wedding? ›You don't need a veil, tiara, earrings, necklace and a sash. Accessories add a unique touch to your look—which we love—but one too many can be downright distracting. Before you start buying, take an inventory of your gown's standout features and then base your choices around them.
Can I wear floral to a wedding? ›Can I wear a floral pattern to a wedding? Yes! A floral print outfit is an appropriate and stylish choice for all seasons and types of weddings.
How much money do I give at a wedding? ›They suggest the following breakdown: coworkers or distant relatives should spend 50 to 75 dollars. Friends or relatives, 75 to 100 dollars. For close friends, family, or if you are in the wedding party, you should spend 100 to 150 dollars—or more.