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If you want to get along with others better, you’ll want to learn the communication styles of each enneagram type!
If you want to get along with others better, you’ll want to learn the communication styles of each enneagram type! Not only will this help you understand THEM better, but you’ll learn what you need to work on as well!
We use communication every day so you’d think we’d put more emphasis on learning how we communicate and how others communicate… but we tend to just assume people communicate like WE do.
It should come as no surprise that just as there are 9 enneagram types, there are 9 different communication styles.
Others have given each style its own nickname of sorts:
1 Sermons, 2 Sympathies, 3 Sales Pitches, 4 Laments, 5 Lectures, 6 Cautions, 7 Anecdotes, 8 Commands, 9 Chronicles
But labels only give the slightest insight… and being the enneagram 1 that I am, I decided to give you some to-the-point information that expands your knowledge on the enneagram communication styles.
Below you’ll find information on each type’s communication strengths, weaknesses, common words/sayings, and tips on how to communicate with them better.
Not sure what your type is yet? Learn how to find your enneagram type and/or how to confirm your enneagram type!
Note: You should not use communication styles to type other people (or yourself really!) Communication styles tend to line up but there are many variations based on upbringing and other type nuances.
For more tips on how to get along with others better, check out my post on how to get along with each enneagram type or my post “What you need to know if you are in a relationship with other enneagram types.”
Type 1 Communication Style
Tends to want to follow rules and has a more right/wrong way of thinking.
Communication Strengths: Proper, honest, to the point, polite, advising.
Communication Weaknesses: Sermons, judging, lectures, opinionated, correcting.
Common Words/Sayings: “should”, “ought”, “must”, “That’s not right/fair”, “rules”.
How to Communicate With a 1: Be straight forward and honest. Say exactly what you mean.
Type 2 Communication Style
Tends to want to help others and has a more sacrificial way of thinking.
Communication Strengths: Compassionate, relational, helpful, sympathetic, caring.
Communication Weaknesses: Unsolicited advice, intrusive, manipulative, indirect.
Common Words/Sayings: “need”, “help”, “support”, “Are you ok?”, “appreciate”.
How to Communicate With a 2: Share your feelings. Let me know you appreciate me.
Type 3 Communication Style
Tends to want to crush goals and has a more efficient focused way of thinking.
Communication Strengths: Confident, efficient, clear, problem solving, encouraging.
Communication Weaknesses: Impatient, withholding, self-promoting, moving on too fast.
Common Words/Sayings: “goals”, “best”, “work”, “I’ve got to get this done.”, “succeed”.
How to Communicate With a 3: Be direct and tactful. Tell me what you actually want.
Type 4 Communication Style
Tends to want to find meaning and has a more emotion based way of thinking.
Communication Strengths: Empathetic, authentic, deep, curious, expressive.
Communication Weaknesses: Overly intense, self-focused, wordy, condescending.
Common Words/Sayings: “feel”, “mood”, “beauty”, “You don’t understand.”, “deep”.
How to Communicate With a 4: Share your authentic self. Don’t try to fix me, allow me to be me.
Type 5 Communication Style
Tends to want to gain knowledge and has a more logical way of thinking.
Communication Strengths: Observant, curious, logical, non-intrusive, respectful.
Communication Weaknesses: Cold, overly brief, arrogant, withdrawn, impersonal.
Common Words/Sayings: “logic”, “research”, quotes for respected people, “You’ll notice that…”, “actually”.
How to Communicate With a 5: Be logical and upfront. Ask me for my thoughts not my feelings.
Type 6 Communication Style
Tends to want support and has a more cautious way of thinking.
Communication Strengths: Listening, caring, warm, witty, complex.
Communication Weaknesses: Reactive, overly skeptical, anxious, self-doubting, easily agitated.
Common Words/Sayings: “maybe”, “doubt”, “It depends.”, “I don’t think I trust that.”, “safe”.
How to Communicate With a 6: Provide all the details. Do not belittle my fears and worries.
Type 7 Communication Style
Tends to want to be satisfied and has a more positive way of thinking.
Communication Strengths: Lively, engaging, upbeat, optimistic, joyful.
Communication Weaknesses: Avoidant, scattered, talks too fast, distracted, self-focused.
Common Words/Sayings: “fun”, “exciting”, “Yes!!!”, “Let’s do it!!!”, “freedom”.
How to Communicate With a 7: Don’t get too negative. Give the perks of what you are asking.
Type 8 Communication Style
Tends to want independence and has a more bold way of thinking.
Communication Strengths: Direct, straightforward, honest, protective, confident.
Communication Weaknesses: Aggressive, demanding, insensitive, blunt, easily angered.
Common Words/Sayings: “control”, “protect”, “strong”, “Don’t tell me what to do.”, “freedom”.
How to Communicate With a 8: Be straightforward like I am. Give me time to process privately.
Type 9 Communication Style
Tends to want harmony and has a more accepting way of thinking.
Communication Strengths: Receptive, nonjudgmental, gentle, supportive, good listener.
Communication Weaknesses: Avoidant, passive, not forthcoming, indecisive, passive-aggressive.
Common Words/Sayings: “peace”, “conflict”, “Sure.”, “It’s up to you.”, “get along”.
How to Communicate With a 9: Give me either/or options (as opposed to open ended options). Don’t interrupt me if I’m talking.
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